The Man Who Started This - MAY 2 2012

OK so my story is not that original but it is mine, and i believe all people have a right to tell their story. Parts of it may be funny. sad or frustrating and maybe just boring. I am not a professional writer and for that matter, not very good at grammar. But, i am here to tell the world what i know and hopefully help someone else with what i have learned.

I met him September 2006, unexpected but i was excited. For privacy sake, let’s call him WILLOW.  | never thought i would succumb to trying to meet a man via the internet but there i was, in my mid to almost late 20's, willing to try anything, and there he was.  After exchanging those pointless emails of “how are you, where are you from and what is your favorite color?", We decided to meet.

| was never a good cook (and let's face it, i never will be) but i decided to brave a Spaghetti meal to impress a man I had never seen in person. He came to my house, and to make it safe i had a handful of friends over. After a successful meal on my behalf (enter the laughing here, cause it was a joke), we talked, laughed, went to a Salsa Club that neither of us were fond of and ended up sitting outside on a bench. He told me he could tell things about me that i didn't even realize and i could feel myself falling. He was a bit shy but with a mysterious confidence. He was my age, 6 foot, blonde with hazel eyes and a good sense of style, from Idaho but i was willing to forgive that. From first glance he was a keeper. I do not remember many details from that night but it must have been a good one. He ended up "accidentally" taking my credit card when i asked him to hold it in his wallet at the club. Therefore, making it a necessity for us to meet again.

Forward to now (2012), this is not a story of how i met my Prince Charming. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We have remained intwined for the last 6 years. Attending high school reunions together, meeting family, nurturing each other through 3 surgeries, vacations, 3 funerals (including the death of my father) and no weddings (that should be an indication in itself).No lasting relationships have lasted for either of us outside of our so called friendship but we are not together either. It is a relationship that can best be described as complicated but simple. A paradox and a pandemonium.

He stays around but when he leaves he is still within reach, just like

having a boyfriend in my pocket. He has told me COUNTLESS timesthat he just wants to be friends but when | walk away he says WAIT, MAYBE I AM NOT SO SURE. I will take the blame. I have been standing around for the option to better but it hasn’t. 

You can NOT change what is not meant to be. So, if you have decided to read then sit back and enjoy the ride. And if you happen to be part of my dating history, welcome to your story as well (with privacy obviously)... More is yet to come. 

XOXO

Brittney