The Friend “Ship” - May 17 2012

It’s like before I came to this earth, it was predetermined that as a grown woman, most of the men I would attempt to date—or be attracted to—would decide that a friendship with me would suit them far better than a love affair. (Ironically this is a big reason my marriage came to an end in 2023) I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the line, “You deserve an awesome guy,” all the while I’m thinking, Well, I thought that’s what you were.

I mean, what’s the issue? Am I ugly? Do I chew too loud? Am I really that bad at sports? (Maybe you were just annoying????) And they go on to say, “I don’t have that chemistry with you, but I still would like to call you every day and hang out.” RIGHT. Yeah, pick me, pick me! I would love to shoot the person who deemed it necessary for a man to say “Chemistry is required.” I hate that word. And my main man WILLOW is king. But there have been so many from my past—like my man best friend (we’ll call him Miami Vice) to my American man who I first met in Italy, just to name a few—all trying a sample and deciding the Friend Ship is where they would like to board. I mean, I don’t remember selling tickets to this boat! Where was I?????

It’s like these guys decide to get on that ship of “friends only” and set sail—before I even had a chance to prove I have more to offer. BUT I am learning boys LOVE to be friends with the crazy girl. But marriage? No thanks. It’s like a craving or addiction. I have what they need in a friend.

While I would never disagree that I’m a bit dramatic, (a bit???) I will say that if you are tough enough, you’ll be in for a treat. Not all women can take on any dare or stand an awkward situation—but embarrassment gives me stories to tell, so I take it and run with it.

It’s most likely my fault for having had a ship docked for boys to get on as friends, but as of now that ship has sailed, and it’s just me. IS there a man out there who is man enough to brave the seas without a ship? I would like to hope so…