Restraining Order - May 27 2012

ok. There is so much to unpack here. At the time I think my intentions were pure but pretty ignorant. Also per usually VERY CRINGE. I really can’t believe Willow stuck around as long as he did with all the shenanigans I pulled. I wonder where this girl is now? Obviously back then she was far too young to be dating someone so much older. That was evident in the way she had her mother call to threaten the police. I would never ever do something so annoying and bold and inappropriate like that today in 2025. At the time of these stories Willow and I were both in our early 30’s. 

I have never claimed that any of the decisions I’ve ever posted have been sane, normal, or good choices—but I do know that they have either taught me a lesson or brought me a good laugh and a story to tell.

All of those who know me well know that I can be random, and I’m pretty good at making rash decisions. I will say that’s what makes me so great, but I don’t pretend or hide this fact.

I also believe that a lot of the choices I make, that some find crazy or weird, have been choices that helped me work through a problem

The following story may be taken a lot of ways. You may call me ridiculous, brave, or just plain dumb—but even after it was over, I still do not regret what I did. It was simply for my peace of mind, and I got it, though it caused an uproar.

A few months after my father passed away, Willow and I were still in our spending time together phase, and though I blindly believed he was giving me all of his attention, I learned on Christmas Eve that he had been getting to know a woman via the internet. And when I say a woman, I say it lightly—because she was 11 years younger than us. And WHAT THE HECK WAS HE THINKING. A couple days later, as we were driving, I remember him saying, “If you don’t want me to talk to her anymore, you can tell me and I won’t.” Now, I do with a lot of flaws, but I don’t think jealousy was even really one of my issues, so of course I said back, “No, I would never tell you to stop communicating with her.” All the while, screaming in my head, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD STOP. And honestly, I think I later realized he was probably reaching out for a reason to get out of it, knowing deep down it wasn’t going to work.

Weeks later, as his communication with her progressed, her commitment to him increased as well. She decided to make the trek all the way from the east and conveniently move to the very same place we lived. No, not just our town, but also next door. 100 feet away. She claimed that it was the only place she could find for rent in town. RIGHT. I asked him, “Do you know she is lying, right? There are a million places to live and she can only move here, next door?” And might I add: She is moving here just for you. He denied the idea that this move was to be revolving her whole life across the country around him. He expressed the idea that he didn’t believe it either and kept saying, tell her no, tell her you need your space. Also, screaming in my head: I DON’T WANT THIS GIRL IN MY BACKYARD EITHER!!!

But because Willow has never proven to have much of a backbone, he let her come, let her move here and build her life. While she built her sense of life and surrounded herself with him, he decided to isolate himself from the entire world around her. I have no idea the signals he gave off, but when Willow decided to back out of their relationship (if you could call it that), how could I help her?

I will add, too, that he did tell the poor girl that if she was going to move next door, she needed to know that I was here, and we had dated on and off and were still very good friends. Can you imagine what she must have been thinking?

I knew being her new neighbor might not be ideal, but there I was—the girl he loved, the ex, his neighbor, all in one. So, putting on my big girl pants, I walked up to her door and knocked. My heart was racing, but here I was, and no matter what, she answered. She answered and I knew it was her. I quickly said, “Hello, my name is Brittney, nice to see you. I am Willow’s friend.” I could only imagine the panic she was feeling at the moment, and though I felt it was only right beyond what I had to, I went on to tell her how awesome he was, how he had mentioned who she was and that I thought she would want a face to the name (HAHAHA). I told her (even though I didn’t believe my own words) that I felt Willow really liked her and she should give it a shot.

She literally stood halfway behind her door with her face barely peeking out, kept me outside on the front step and shook my hand when I left. I mean, believe me, I do understand that was awkward, but more than 2 words would have been nice. She could have invited me in for a drink of water at least. GEEZ.

Not even 10 seconds from her door, Willow called me laughing, saying that she had called him saying I had come by to introduce myself. He didn’t even care at the time and said he wasn’t surprised I did that because I basically could do anything and he would always forgive me. But it did cause friction a couple days later.

I guess it shook her up so much that she called her mom complaining. I will never know what she told her, but whatever it was brought enough gumption for her mother to call Willow and ask if she needed to call the police and have a restraining order put on me. NOW, in all my years of kindly introducing myself to my new neighbors, I have NEVER been threatened with anything of the sort. Of course, Willow called me and told me how awkward the conversation was for him to talk to the mother of his not-so-long 2-week girlfriend.

As I recount this story, as I have already to many I know, this may make me sound like a moron—but I will tell you I knew that she would never be the one for him, and though my curiosity got the best of me, I knew it would be back on my team in the end. (And incidentally, I never said a word to her again, not even passing by her once on the sidewalk. I later learned that night, that I saw her walking past me was actually the night she walked to Willow’s house where he broke up with her a couple short weeks after this fallout.)

I tell this story for all of you to know what I am and have been through: the good, the bad, the back and forth—through every relationship (mainly his), we stuck through them together. And he was always there like a boyfriend in my pocket, and I guess I was always the girlfriend in his, ready when the others faded out

This story will always be a fun one to tell, because if you know me, you understand that I am feisty and you love me for it—but you will never see me be unkind to a stranger, especially to a young girl who I knew would shortly be devastated from losing what she thought would be the love of her life.

Poor, poor thing…