New Love, New Love, New Love - JUNE 3 2013

JUNE 3 2013

I feel that I should tell the world that my blog is about to make a significant shift. The word love is such a big word. It encompasses so many things and can mean so many different ideas.

When I began writing for all the world to see, I felt that I needed to get my story out there. I wanted women like me to know they were not alone. They were not the only women to feel rejected or annoyed by a love that never got off the ground.

Today, my story is different. I feel that my entire adult life has been in search of a match. Someone who gets me without effort. Someone who forgives without pause. Someone who loves the way that it is supposed to be. New love is so liberating. It teaches you so much about what you forgot you deserved or wanted or needed.

I was consumed with Willow for so long, and I believe I learned so much from him. Who he was has been part of why I am who I am today. But he was only a chapter in my life, when for so long I thought he was the entire book.

My writings now and ahead will no longer be about my bitter mishaps of who I never could have, but you will begin to learn of the man who is changing my life one day at a time. The quest that so many people search for—I am in the middle of.

I find it painfully and humorously ironic that I had to take my journey all the way from Salt Lake City to New York to Nashville just to find a man from Salt Lake City. What a roundabout way to get to the point. Nice one, God.

You know when you write in your journal or lie awake at night and think of all the things you wished you could find all wrapped up in one person? Well, that person is real. Seriously, I wake up and think, OH MY GOSH. It is like he knew I was coming and here we are.

I could go on, but I won’t at this time. But you should all know those kinds of people exist. The ones who love you without hesitation. The ones who laugh at you when they should and say what needs to be said.

We are built to want to be with another. To feel the connection and bond with someone who will stay forever, who will not judge, who is kind and happy, who is sensitive but tough, and who we can trust.

When you are looking, do not settle. When you feel like giving up, take a deep breath and hold on a little longer. When you need to cry, just cry—but get a hug when you’re done. I am living proof: surprises come when you forget about the problem. I have boarded the flight, y’all, and I am not sure if it will ever come down… (it’s bitter sweet to read these blogs again from 2013. Now in 2025 everything has changed. With 2 kids and being a single mom, my world is nothing like it was but I really do love being reminded of how easy and sweet my relationship used to be with my children’s dad. I don’t regret anything.)