His Reaction - MAY 14 2012

I am not the first 30-something-year-old girl (I am 46 today in 2025) to feel like I’ve been heartbroken. But honestly, who hasn’t been? And if your heart is still in one piece, without any cracks, I hate to say it—but you have not lived fully yet. Life must be experienced with opposition in order to appreciate the better moments. I have been telling him for a couple of years that I wanted to write a book and a blog about what I have experienced with him. I even told him what it would be called (Boyfriend in my Pocket) I am not sure if he just didn’t believe me or if he wasn’t listening, but today I told him again: “The ball is rolling, our story is out there, and I thought you should know.” It took three minutes for someone to track the story down and read it aloud to him. (His name was officially called WILLOW through out the blog for privacy) Of course, you may feel a little exposed and hurt by someone’s perception of you sometimes, but it is what someone sees—and you can’t change that. A smart man I used to call “boss” taught me that once. But anyway, back to him. Let’s just say he wasn’t too pleased. But again, I had warned him—right and again for about the millionth time—that he no longer wanted to be my friend.

BIG SURPRISE! NOBODY FREAKING CARES (CRINGE)

So fine, I’ll write about it.

I will say here that in his defense, he has been a wonderful person in general, aside from the fact that it’s my fault that I didn’t believe him when he told me he wanted to be just friends—after acting the complete opposite (blah blah blah, whatever). (CRINGE)

(Guys, side note on that: if you haven’t seen a girl go crazy then pull a stunt like that, you will.)

He’s a good man, but I would not say brave. If you do not have the necessary emotions to progress a romance, don’t pretend or confuse that fact. Love is not easy. Please, if there is someone out there who thinks it is, let me know. But in all my experiences and all my failures and even watching others, I have seen rain come with the sun. I think that’s reality. I feel like the best lovers get through the hardest times still holding on. I am sure because all this holding on… I have missed so many better chances. But I am here now, ready to take the next opportunity.

I have to speak of a recent experience. Not too long ago, I received a letter in the mail—not an email over the internet, but an actual real paper letter. It came from someone I’ve known for years, but it was a surprise. I will call it a love letter, because I feel that’s what it was. I had not heard or read such sweet words from a man, maybe ever. But what he said—I truly believed he meant.

But how could someone actually believe that about me?

At first, I was freaked out. What was happening? I didn’t know what to do with it, so I hid. I was so used to feeling like I wasn’t that much of a priority that I didn’t recognize this feeling from the letter. During that time, I thought of what I could say in return, and though I responded with what I felt was right at the time, I’m not sure that would still be the case today.

My view is different.

So again, I will go forward—with no clouds over my head or in front of me. My sister Celeste tells me I gotta move on… So OK, you got it, sis! I will not promise that these forthcoming confessions will always be nice, but they will be honest—and too bad if you don’t like it.

Someone reading will need help—and this will be their answer.

XOXO

BRITTNEY

2025 - As I have read through all of these blog posts I will say I have done SO MUCH CRINGING. Gosh I was annoying. I think I still have strong and bold opinions but being married, divorced and becoming a mother really made me more self aware. Thank goodness. I would just like to say, no matter what I said in 2012 about “Willow”, it definitely doesn’t apply in 2025, as I have seen him via social media with a beautiful family. I do not communicate with him on a regular basis but he just seems to have made a wonderful life for himself, despite what I put him through. I am so grateful we get to learn and grow!